How can we possibly know where people are coming from, what they understand or don't understand? We all come with a different tool set to take us throughout our lives. We all come from different situations. Some as children are raised in healthy situations as well adjusted children. Others have difficult childhood situations in which they spend many years or a lifetime trying to recover and become whole again. It is best not to judge how someone else is doing by our own perspectives and life experiences. In this, we might go wrong and hinder the progress of someone else through our judgements, or lack of response. It is quite possible that if we make the wrong judgements, we won't reach out a hand and help the one who needs help the most.
Due to many circumstances beyond my control as a child, for many years I felt like life was unfair because I didn't feel like I had the tools to take care of myself or even get by in the world. With many experiences and challenges where I just didn't have any idea of what I should do next to solve the problem. Relying on God(my LDS faith), my amazing and supportive husband, good friends, and feeling my way along. Sometimes I just felt, and still feel like I am stumbling through life assuming that others have the rulebook that I never got.
It doesn't matter how good someone looks on the outside or how much they look like they have it together, everyone around us has wounds. As you are finding it difficult to love and to reach out, remember that everyone out there needs sincere kindness sometimes, even if they don't react in kind. In showing that kindness you are planting a seed of healing within them and it may grow, who knows? And when you reach out a hand to others you are healing your own soul as well.
We should encourage others to be themselves and try to be open to the differences in others. and if we do that we are helping them along, cheering them on in the lonely path of life. Lonely, because we all have a path of our own that we have to take. Solitary but beautiful, our path is like an empty canvas, we can plant seeds of love and service all along our way and if we do, they will blossom colorfully and rich.
I have been the recipient of some very harsh judgments in my life and I know that it caused me to stumble and feel like I couldn't keep going at times. Let us not be the ones dishing out the harsh judgement towards others or involving ourselves in gossip that can only break someone down and cause their burdens to be heavier (when they might already be drowning in life's circumstances). Why don't we support each other in being uniquely who we are? Finding the joy in the diversity of each person we come in contact with.
After all, it is best not to judge.
